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I was sixteen years old when my father gave me the belief that would run my life for the next fifty-eight years.

He meant well. I know that now. He was trying to prepare my sister and me for a world he knew could be hard and unpredictable. What he said was simple:

Don’t depend on anyone. You have to take care of yourself.

I took it all the way to my heart.

I became a woman who was good at everything, being self-sufficient and ambitious to get some of the American Dream for myself. Dad always told me to be successful. To be successful, I needed to work hard. I worked so hard that I ran over my physical and mental needs.

I built two businesses, grossing half a million in the first one, and brought in six figures in income in the second one. I say that only to show you how ‘hard’ I worked to make money. I became too focused on making money.

I chased success the way our culture told me I should — achievement, forward motion, never stopping long enough to need anything from anyone. Including a spiritual life or getting in touch with my higher power.

I didn’t have a spiritual life. I didn’t have an interior life. I didn’t have a Psalm marked in my bible the way my grandmother did. I was operating on a completely different frequency — one where you earned your safety and security, and depended on no one. I believed that if I made a lot of money, I’d feel safe and secure.

What I didn’t know then was that I was also carrying more than I ever let anyone see. Losses that had no bottom. Pain, I didn’t have the tools to process. I kept moving because stopping felt dangerous.

For fifty-eight years, my father’s voice and my own willpower were the only things I trusted.

Then Came the Baja Desert

2017. A car accident that should have killed me.

And a brand new ambulance that was being delivered to a hospital in north Baja appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the Mexican desert — right after the crash.

I didn’t summon that ambulance. I didn’t work hard enough for it. It simply came. And in that moment, everything my life had been built on — self-reliance, control, achievement — became completely, undeniably insufficient. I surrendered my life to my higher power. I was helpless.

Six surgeries followed. My body had a slit from the breast to the pubic bone. Yet, I thought it was beautiful. It saved my life! I experienced a miracle - a shift in perception.

A planned future I lost and had to grieve. It was the one I thought I wanted, the one I had worked so hard to build. That grief was real, and it was not optional. I didn’t get to skip it.

During my near-death experience, a voice asked me:

You get to choose how you go through this experience. What will you choose?

I chose consciousness. I chose love. And that choice changed everything.

The Map I Didn’t Know I Was Walking

What I found on the other side of that grief was a map I didn’t know I was walking until I looked back at it.

Surrender. Grief. Acceptance. Love. Gratitude. Forgiveness. Trust. Faith.

Not as concepts. Not as a wellness framework. As a path, I walked on my hands and knees through the hardest years of my life.

The surrender came first, and it was the hardest.

For a woman who had spent fifty-eight years depending on no one, releasing control felt like dying. In some ways, it was. The version of me that needed no one had to go.

What replaced her surprised me.

I found that there is something richer, deeper, and more rewarding than anything the outer world has ever given me. I found that nature heals. That creativity is a form of prayer. That grace is real, and it doesn’t ask you to earn it first.

The women who already knew

I found that I had been surrounded by women who already knew this. My grandmother lived to 101 with Psalm 23 marked in her bible — The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil….

My mother, Dorothy, is 98½ and has survived losses that would break most people, carrying them on nothing but faith she never once put down.

They had an interior life I hadn’t yet built. A frequency I couldn’t yet receive.

The accident cracked me open to what was already in my bloodline, waiting.

I now trust what I can’t see.

Now I wake up every morning, and I pray. Not for what I want. Not for success or safety or control. I pray that my higher power’s (God of my understanding) will be done, not mine. That single shift — from my will to thy will — is the whole distance I traveled.

From don’t depend on anyone — to I trust what I cannot see.

If you’re reading this and you recognize yourself somewhere in that fifty-eight-year story — the achieving, the exhaustion, the quiet emptiness you don’t talk about — I want you to know something.

The way back to yourself exists.

I know because I found it. And I left the trail markers here for you.

XO, Sherold

P.S. This Wednesday, April 22nd, join me for our second Gathering on the High Road — the 100-Day Visualization Project. We’ll write together — just you and your own vision for what life could look like 100 days from now. I’d love to see you there. Details below.

Where Will Your Life Be 100 Days From Now?

That is not a rhetorical question.

One hundred days from now is August 1st. And the research on visualization is unambiguous: what you consistently hold in your mind with intention and emotion begins to shape what your brain notices, what you pursue, and what you create.

Alan Richardson’s famous study found that athletes who only visualized their practice — who never physically trained — improved by 23%. Nearly as many as those who showed up to practice every single day. Your brain cannot fully distinguish between a vividly imagined experience and a real one. That is not self-help. That is neuroscience.

But here is what most people get wrong about visualization: passive dreaming actually backfires. Research by psychologist Gabriele Oettingen found that people who simply fantasize about a desired outcome — without a clear process — are less likely to achieve it than people who never visualize at all. The fantasy drains the urgency.

Done right, visualization is one of the most powerful practices available to you. Done wrong, it keeps you comfortable while nothing changes.

Tomorrow — Wednesday, April 22, at 12 pm PDT — I’m teaching exactly how to do it right. In our Gathering on the High Road, I’ll walk you through the 100 Day Visualization Project: what it is, how it works, and how to build a daily practice that actually moves the needle on the life you want to be living.

This is not a webinar. It is a gathering — a small, live, intimate conversation with a community of people who are doing this work seriously. It will be recorded, so if you cannot make it live, you will still get everything.

This Gathering is for paid subscribers.

If you have been reading High Road to Healing as a free subscriber and wondering whether to upgrade, this is your moment. Here is what you get for $50 a year:

Monthly live Gatherings on Zoom — intimate, teaching-rich conversations on the exact topics this community needs most. Consciousness. Surrender. Fear. Resilience. The inner life, The Spiritual Practice of Aging. The practices that actually sustain you through the hard seasons.

Recordings of every Gathering — so you never miss a teaching, and can return to it when you need it most.

A community of people who are choosing the high road — not just reading about it.

That is less than $1 a week. For a year of monthly live teaching, a growing library of recordings, and a community that is building something real together.

The April 22 Gathering is tomorrow. If you upgrade today, you’ll receive the Zoom link in time to join us live.

One hundred days from now is August 1st. The question is not whether time will pass. It will. The question is what you will do with it.

Come join us.

XO, Sherold

Wednesday April 22 · 12:00pm PDT · 1:00pm MDT · 2:00pm CDT · 3:00pm EDT

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It is called the Map of Consciousness. It was developed by Dr. David Hawkins, a psychiatrist and spiritual teacher who spent decades researching one question: why do some people suffer endlessly while others, facing the same circumstances, find their way to peace?

What he discovered is not what most people expect. It isn’t about positive thinking. It isn’t about willpower.

It is about the level of consciousness you are operating from — and the extraordinary fact that you can change it.

I recently sat down with Kevin Scobey, a longtime student of Hawkins’ work and a facilitator of his teachings, to talk through the map and what it means in practical terms. Here is what I want you to take away from that conversation.

The map is not a map of opposites.

This was the first thing that surprised me when I encountered Hawkins’ work. We tend to think of our emotions as opposing forces — love versus hate, fear versus courage. But the Map of Consciousness shows something different. Emotions like hatred and love are not opposites. They exist on the same continuum of consciousness, at different levels of vibration. As Kevin put it, “they are more like oil and water — different, but not opposite. They settle into their own likeness.”

This matters because most of our suffering comes from the egoic mind’s insistence on dividing everything into opposites. Good versus evil. Should versus shouldn’t. Right versus wrong. The map helps us step out of that battleground and see reality as a continuum instead.

Awareness itself is the first move.

The map runs from 0 (death) at the bottom through shame, guilt, apathy, fear, anger, and pride — all below the critical threshold of 200 — up through courage, willingness, acceptance, love, joy, and bliss, to enlightenment at 1000.

Simply knowing where you are on this map creates the possibility of choosing differently.

You don’t have to leap from shame to love in a single bound. You just have to notice where you are — without judgment — and ask: can I move up one level?

Kevin said something I have carried since our conversation:

Courage is the dividing line — and here is why.

At 200 on the map sits courage. Everything below it is characterized by what Hawkins calls force — stress, reactivity, craving, fear, shame. Everything above it is characterized by power — the kind that sustains rather than exhausts.

Courage is the dividing line because it is the first act of inward agreement with a positive direction. Below it, we react. At courage, we choose.

Moving through courage into the higher levels requires stepping into the unknown — and that takes genuine inner commitment. You may not know what freedom feels like until you are in it. But once you step through, the energy settles. You move into neutrality, then willingness, then trust. As Kevin described it: Courage destabilizes the lower levels so the higher ones can take hold.

Willingness is not hoping. It is deciding.

Above courage sits willingness — and this distinction matters. Willingness is not wishing things were different. It is not having one foot in and one foot out. It is deciding, fully, both feet in, and then being able to see possibilities that were invisible before.

I experienced this myself when I joined an expensive mastermind program years ago. I was terrified. Cold feet, chattering ego, every reason not to do it. But once I committed completely — once I decided — willingness arrived. And with it, a clarity I hadn’t been able to access from the place of ambivalence.

The decision itself is the thing. Both feet in.

Fighting reality keeps you stuck. Accepting it frees you.

My trauma surgeon in San Diego — Dr. Kill — said something to me I have never forgotten. He told me that everyone who comes to the hospital wants to get out as fast as possible. But I was different. He said it was as if I had accepted where I was.

And I had. I was having back-to-back surgeries — six total. What could I do? I accepted it.

Most patients in hospitals are running, with a desire to leave — combined with fear and anger. That keeps the body flooded with cortisol and adrenaline, which is counterproductive to healing. Moving into acceptance drops those stress hormones and lets the body do what it needs to do.

Acceptance is not approval. It is not giving up. It is simply stopping the war with reality — and that, it turns out, is one of the most healing things a human being can do.

Love is not just an emotion. It is a level of consciousness.

At 500 on the map sits love. Not romantic love, not conditional love — the kind of love that has no object, that is simply a state of being. Gratitude, joy, and bliss all live in this territory.

Hawkins discovered that for severe addiction and deep healing, the only energy that truly works is 540 and above. In some cases, love is the only thing that heals.

In my near-death experience, I chose love and gratitude. Hawkins describes the NDE state as potentially reaching 600 — the level of bliss. In my experience, you don’t stay there. You come back down to your own level of consciousness. The ego gets going again. But now you know that place exists. You know it is real. And you can use the map to find your way back.

The map is logarithmic, which means small shifts matter enormously.

This is perhaps the most important technical detail. The Map of Consciousness is not a linear scale. Each number is to the base of 10 — logarithmic. A move from 200 to 300 is not the same magnitude as a move from 500 to 600. The higher you go, the more exponential the difference.

What this means practically: small movements at the higher levels represent enormous shifts in actual consciousness and quality of life.

And Hawkins found that most of humanity — roughly 85% — operates below 200. The people who live consistently above that threshold are, quite literally, lifting the collective.

We are all here to be self-realized.

That is how Kevin closed our conversation. Whether we know it or not, he said, that is what we are all moving toward. The map is simply a tool for understanding where we are on that journey — and what is possible from here.

If you are in a hard season right now, I want you to hear this: where you are is not where you are stuck. Every level on this map is part of the human experience. There is no shame in being where you are. There is only the question — can I move up one level?

The answer, more often than you think, is yes.

Resources: David R. Hawkins — Power Versus Force and Letting Go: The Path of Surrender. Byron Katie — thework.com.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT DOWNLOAD

P.S. Zoom Gathering on Wednesday, April 22 for paid subscribers

It’s not too late to subscribe and attend all Zoom Gatherings for free. All you have to do is subscribe to High Road to Healing for $50 for the year and save.

Mark your calendar:

✦ Wednesday, April 22

✦ 12:00pm PDT · 1:00pm MDT · 2:00pm CDT · 3:00pm EDT

✦ 7:00pm GMT · 8:00am Thursday NZDT

The 100 Day Visualization Project

Here’s what I want you to know before we meet: Subscribers: your Zoom link will be sent to your email.

Visualization is not wishful thinking. It is not a vision board on a wall that you walk past without feeling anything. And it is not the same as hoping something will happen and waiting for the universe to deliver it.

It is neuroscience.

Researchers have shown that when you vividly imagine doing something — truly see it, feel it, experience it in your body — your brain activates the same neural pathways as if you were actually doing it. In one landmark study, basketball players who practiced free throws only in their minds improved nearly as much as players who practiced physically. Same neural pathways. Same results.

This is what 100 days of consistent visualization can do to a brain.

It can rewire it.

At our April 22 Gathering, we’ll explore:

✦ What the science actually says about how visualization works

✦ Why most people do it wrong — and the one shift that changes everything

✦ How to begin your own 100 Day Visualization Project

✦ What you want to do, be, or have — and how to make your brain your greatest ally in getting there

I’ll share the research, tell you a story, and give you three prompts to begin your own practice. Then we’ll share.

This Gathering will be recorded and sent to all paid subscribers.

Not yet a paid subscriber? This is a beautiful moment to join us.

$50 for a full year — Gatherings several times a quarter, teachings, and a community of women doing the real work of healing and becoming.

👉 JOIN HERE: https://www.sheroldbarr.com/subscribe

I can’t wait to be in the room with you.

With love,

Sherold

P.S. Come with something in mind — something you want to do, be, or have. We’ll work with it

Two Breathing Techniques That Actually Work (And I Use Both)

I want to share something practical with you this week — two breathing techniques that I personally reach for when anxiety creeps in or my mind won’t quiet down at night. They work quickly, they’re simple, and all you need is yourself and a few minutes.

Left Nostril Breathing

The first one comes from Kundalini yoga, and it’s called left nostril breathing. Back in 2016, I became a Kundalini yoga teacher — not to teach classes, but because I wanted to go deep into breath and mantra for myself. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for my own healing, and this technique is one I still return to again and again. I love sharing it with my community because it works.

This one is especially good for those moments when your mind is racing, you can’t sleep, or you just need to come back to yourself. Three minutes is all it takes.

Here’s the beautiful thing about why this works: your body operates on both positive and negative electrical currents — it’s a finely tuned system. In the ancient science of Kundalini yoga, there are two energies: the Ida and Pingala. They intertwine as they move up each side of your spine and meet in the central channel.

The left side carries the Ida — feminine, moon energy, reflective, calming, cooling. The right side carries the Pingala — solar, masculine energy, bright, fiery, activating. In Western terms, you might think of these as your sympathetic (activating) and parasympathetic (calming) nervous systems. When we breathe through the left nostril, we’re intentionally inviting that calming, parasympathetic energy in.

How to do it:

Set a timer for three minutes. Sit comfortably cross-legged on the floor. Take your right hand and use your thumb to gently close your right nostril — fingers pointing straight up toward the sky. Rest your other hand in Gyan mudra: index fingertip touching your thumb tip, the “Seal of Wisdom.” Close your eyes.

Now just breathe — long, slow, deep breaths in through your left nostril. And long, slow, deep breaths out through that same nostril. Let your belly expand on the inhale. Release all the tension on the exhale. This simple act connects both hemispheres of your brain and begins to regulate your nervous system almost immediately.

(Watch me demonstrate in the video above!)

Box Breathing

My other go-to is Box Breathing — a technique used by everyone from Navy SEALs to anxious humans at 2 am (I’ve been both 😄).

Picture drawing a square as you breathe:

1. Breathe in — slowly through your nose for 4 counts

2. Hold — gently for 4 counts

3. Breathe out — slowly through your mouth for 4 counts

4. Hold — gently again for 4 counts

Repeat until you feel your nervous system settle down. It really does work.

I hope these tools serve you well this week. Your body knows how to calm itself — sometimes it just needs a little invitation.

XO, Sherold

P.S. — Wednesday, April 22nd, I’m hosting our second free (for paid subscribers) Gathering on Zoom: the 100-Day Visualization Project. We’ll write together as a group, each of us mapping out what we want our life to look like 100 days from now. Then share what we want to accomplish. Visualization works! I’ll be writing intentions for two more memoir chapters — and finally finishing the trim paint downstairs at our home (doors and baseboards, you know who you are 😄).

P.S.S. Paid subscribers - I will send you the Zoom registration link this weekend. Stay tuned.

Hey friend - I’ve been thinking about resilience lately. Not the word — the word gets used so casually it’s almost lost its meaning. I mean the actual lived experience of going through something that should have broken you, and discovering that it didn’t.

It takes courage not to settle for a small life.

In February of this year, John and I flew to Loreto, Baja California, Mexico. You might be surprised to know that this was the third time we’ve returned since 2017 — the year we were there on vacation and, one hour after whale watching, our van was hit on a two-lane desert highway and I nearly died. For two decades, except for six years after the accident, we have returned to Loreto to visit our friends and spend time in nature. The Sea of Cortez, the mountains, the unhurried pace of a small Mexican town on the water.

What gives me the courage to return to the place where I almost died?

I have a knowing. A bone-deep certainty built from evidence — the accumulated proof of my own survival — that if I were ever to face something devastating again, I could rely on what I’ve already been through. Not because I’m fearless. Because I’ve done hard things before, and I know what I’m made of.

Let me tell you what I mean by that.

• Twenty-one years ago, my younger brother was murdered. His case remains unsolved in Knoxville, Tennessee. I had to find a way to carry that grief without letting it become the whole story of my life.

• Fourteen years ago, my son faced a medical crisis that required interventions that saved his life. If you’ve ever sat in a hospital waiting room not knowing if your child will make it through the night, you know a particular quality of helplessness that is unlike anything else. I sat in that room. I made it through that wait. And so did he.

• Nine years ago, I was in a near-fatal car wreck in Baja, Mexico. A medical evacuation. Six surgeries — two in Mexico, three at Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego. A six-week hospital stay. Learning to walk twice. A near-death experience in the surgery suite that changed everything about how I understand suffering, love, and what I’m here to do.

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When I look back at all of it, here’s what I notice:

I didn’t just survive those things. Something in me grew because of them. Not despite the suffering — through it.

The pain became a teacher. The challenges became a doorway.

I want to be careful about how I say this, because I’m not suggesting I’m special nor can anyone do this.

I do not let my ego get away with things like that — ha. I have sat with too many women who have been through as much or more, and I think it’s important that we never compare our traumas. Each of us carries what we carry. It hurts and we suffer.

What I’m saying is that something made the difference between being destroyed by these experiences and being transformed by them. I’ve been trying to understand what that something is, because if I can name it, maybe you can find it in yourself too.

— ✦ —

Looking honestly at my own life, I can see two things that have sustained me through every hard season, and deepened with each one rather than diminishing.

The first is a strong spiritual practice and a belief in my Higher Power.

Not a tidy, comfortable religion — a living, breathing relationship with something larger than myself.

A willingness to say, in the ambulance, in the surgery suite, in the middle of my marriage falling apart and being rebuilt: I’m in your hands. I surrender this to you.

Use whatever language feels true for you — God, Universe, Higher Power, Source. The name matters less than the act of opening your hands.

I am not a counselor. I want to be clear about that. In fact, I have gone through counseling during each of these traumas, and even now I see a psychologist to help me process childhood wounds.

The work of self-realization — of forgiving myself and others, of understanding what has been running underneath my choices — feels like the job of my lifetime.

I do not write from a place of having arrived. I write from a place of being deeply in it.

The second is what I would call a rich inner life.

The willingness to go inside rather than run away by numbing out or overworking. To feel what needs to be felt. To ask what this experience is trying to teach me. To sit with the part of me that is deeper than the fear — quieter than the pain, and somehow, always, still intact.

These two things together — the Higher Power and the inner life — have not made the hard things easier. But they have made them meaningful.

And meaning, I have come to believe, is what makes the difference between trauma that destroys and trauma that transforms.

This is not resilience as toughness. This is resilience as the discovery of what was always already whole in you.

I said there is something in you that is already whole. I meant that literally.

What I’ve come to call that wholeness has a name. Carl Jung spent his career pointing toward it. Every great spiritual tradition has mapped it. Psychology has been circling it for over a century. And in the void between life and death — in the surgery suite in San Diego, when the ego fell completely away and what remained was pure love, pure peace, pure awareness — I came face to face with it.

That is what next week’s piece is about.

Not what makes people unbreakable. But what the unbreakable part actually is.

Did you resonate with this article? If so, I’d love to know what you think. Please share this on social media as it helps people find this work. Sending lots of love your way.

XO, Sherold

Leave a comment

P.S. Mark your calendar:

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HIGH ROAD TO HEALING

Gatherings on the High Road

Our next Gathering on the High Road — April 22 🌿

The 100-Day Visualization Project.

This Gathering is for paid subscribers. Please consider joining so you can take advantage of the many Gatherings I will offer this year on Zoom.

✦ Wednesday, April 22

✦ 12:00pm PDT · 1:00pm MDT · 2:00pm CDT · 3:00pm EDT

✦ 7:00pm GMT · 8:00am Thursday NZDT

────────────────────────────────

Here’s what I want you to know before we meet:

Visualization is not wishful thinking. It is not a vision board on a wall that you walk past without feeling anything. And it is not the same as hoping something will happen and waiting for the universe to deliver it.

It is neuroscience.

Researchers have shown that when you vividly imagine doing something — truly see it, feel it, experience it in your body — your brain activates the same neural pathways as if you were actually doing it. In one landmark study, basketball players who practiced free throws only in their minds improved nearly as much as players who practiced physically. Same neural pathways. Same results.

This is what 100 days of consistent visualization can do to a brain.

It can rewire it.

────────────────────────────────

At our April 22 Gathering we’ll explore:

✦ What the science actually says about how visualization works

✦ Why most people do it wrong — and the one shift that changes everything

✦ How to begin your own 100 Day Visualization Project

✦ What you want to do, be, or have — and how to make your brain your greatest ally

I’ll share the research, tell you a story, and give you three prompts to begin your own practice. Then we’ll share with each other.

This Gathering will be recorded and sent to all paid subscribers.

────────────────────────────────

Not yet a paid subscriber? This is a beautiful moment to join us.

$50 for a full year — Gatherings several times a quarter, teachings, and a community of women doing the real work of healing and becoming.

👉 JOIN HERE: https://www.sheroldbarr.com/subscribe

I can’t wait to be in the room with you. With love,

Sherold

Leave a comment

Image by LoggaWiggler from Pixabay

Hey friend - I know through hard-won experience that having a spiritual practice as you age is critical to a life full of meaning. Things happen - we will experience health issues, loss of the people we love, and challenges managing life in a chaotic world.

While I’m not religious, I consider myself deeply spiritual. Things have happened in my life that feel like divine intervention. As I look back on my traumas, I’ve found the positive things in my adversities - it always got to do with love. Life has taught me that there is a higher power at work.

I’ve learned to trust my Higher Power (HP). However, when I’m in a worry trance, I have to pull myself back from the brink and recalibrate my nervous system. I hope you enjoy this article full of good research.

Dr. Lydia Manning spent years sitting with people in their 70s, 80s, and 90s — people who had survived illness, loss, grief, and the particular weight of a long life. She wanted to know what made some of them resilient while others crumbled under the same pressures.

Dr. Manning is a social gerontologist — a scientist who studies aging and is currently affiliated with the Scripps Gerontology Center at Miami University in Ohio — a leading institution in aging research.

What she found wasn’t what most people expect.

It wasn’t toughness. It wasn’t optimism. It wasn’t even a support system, though those matter. What she found, across hundreds of interviews and decades of research, was this:

the most resilient people weren’t just surviving their hardships. They were being transformed by them.

One of the women in her study had gone blind. When Dr. Manning asked her about it, she said something that stopped me cold when I read it. She said that as a child, a blind man had boarded with her family. She read to him, walked him downtown, listened to him talk about his life without sight. She had no idea then that she would someday lose her own vision. But looking back, she said:

“The Lord was preparing me for what was ahead. Blindness is both a blessing and a hardship. What I learned then helps me now. I learned how to trust God and myself.”

She didn’t just survive her blindness. She found meaning in it. She found a thread running through her whole life that she couldn’t see until she was standing in the dark.

Another woman in the study had survived not one but several illnesses her doctors had called terminal. Each time, she didn’t just recover — she accumulated something.

Skills. Strategies.

A kind of knowing that you can survive what you thought would break you.

That knowing becomes its own form of protection.

And then there was Ruth. When Dr. Manning asked her about her faith, she said:

“If I didn’t have my faith, the things that have happened to me — I don’t know what I would do without it. After my husband died, I still feel he helps me. No one could convince me otherwise, because there are too many unusual things.”

Too many unusual things. I know exactly what she means.

What Dr. Manning discovered across all of these women — and across the 64 people she studied ranging in age from 52 to 93.

The most resilient among them shared three things:

A sense of divine support, a maintained sense of purpose, and the practice of gratitude.

Not as a performance. Not as a coping strategy. But as a way of being that had been built, quietly, over a lifetime.

And here is what moved me most about her research: those three things — faith, purpose, gratitude — cannot be taken away.

You can lose your health. You can lose your independence. You can lose the people you love most.

But you cannot lose your inner life. You cannot lose your capacity for meaning. You cannot lose access to the force greater than yourself, whatever name you give it.

I think about this when I remember surrendering to my higher power and worrying if I would live as I was loaded in an ambulance in the middle of the Baja, Mexico, desert on the way to a rural hospital.

I didn’t have my health. I didn’t have my independence. I didn’t have certainty about anything. But something remained. Something that no surgery could touch.

That is what resilience actually is. Not the absence of breaking. The presence of something that cannot be broken.

The high road isn’t the easy road. But it is the one that transforms you. And according to the research — and according to every woman in that study who outlived her losses and kept going anyway — transformation is always available. Right up until the very end.

And say hello to my mom - Dorothy Barker - who is 98 1/2! This woman is part terminator - strong and resilient in the face of losses and tragedies. She is pure love.

Subscriber Gatherings in 2026

100-Day Visualization Project :: April 22, 2026

Mark your calendar:

✦ Wednesday, April 22

✦ 12:00pm PDT · 1:00pm MDT · 2:00pm CDT · 3:00pm EDT

✦ 7:00pm GMT · 8:00am Thursday NZDT

Visualization is not wishful thinking.

It’s not a vision board on a wall that you walk past without feeling anything. It’s not the same as hoping something will happen and waiting for the universe to deliver it.

It is neuroscience.

Researchers have shown that when you vividly imagine doing something — truly see it, feel it, experience it in your body — your brain activates the same neural pathways as if you were actually doing it. In one landmark study, basketball players who practiced free throws only in their minds improved nearly as much as players who practiced physically. Same neural pathways. Same results.

This is what 100 days of consistent visualization can do to a brain - it can rewire it.

At our April 22 Gathering on Zoom we’ll explore:

✦ What the science actually says about how visualization works

✦ Why most people do it wrong — and the one shift that changes everything

✦ How to begin your own 100-Day Visualization Project

✦ What you want to do, be, or have — and how to make your brain your greatest ally in getting there

I’ll share the research, tell you a story, and give you three prompts to begin your own practice. Then we’ll share with each other.

This Gathering will be recorded and sent to all paid subscribers.

Not yet a paid subscriber? This is a beautiful moment to join us.

Want to say hello or leave me a comment? You KNOW I love hearing from you.

XO Sherold

Leave a comment

Click here to access the reply: Fear is Your Rocket Fuel Replay

In our Gatherings, I plan to sh…

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Sunset in Loreto, Baja, MX last week.

Hey friend - first of all, thank you for being a new or loyal subscriber. Your contribution helps me do my work in giving back to help others stop suffering from their thoughts and emotions.

I’m so thrilled to host our first of many Gatherings for my paid subscribers on Zoom on Tuesday, March 17th.

Here’s your Zoom li…

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Photo: Unsplash@ Jack Cohen

Hey friend - I want to share some news that surprised and made me happy today! Substack (the newsletter/media platform I use for my articles) sent me a notice that High Road to Healing now ranked 59th in Faith and Spirituality! I was amazed and it gave me rocket fuel to work to get down into the 40 categories.

I’m starting a podcast in April called High Road to Healing. I hope that you enjoy the videos/audios I’m putting together. Maybe that will help us get more people interested in starting a spiritual practice and learning what I’ve learned from some of my most difficult life events.

I’m so thrilled to host our first of many Gatherings for my paid subscribers on Zoom on Tuesday, March 17th.

Thank you to my new and continuing paid Subscribers for joining. I’m sending out your Zoom link today for next Tuesday’s Zoom. Stay tuned!

The topic is fear. Not because fear is the enemy.

But because fear and awe are often the same feeling—and learning to tell the difference can change everything.

The Gathering is for monthly and annual subscribers to High Road to Healing.

Tuesday, March 17

• 🇺🇸 Pacific: 12 pm

• 🇺🇸 Mountain: 1 pm

• 🇺🇸 Central: 2 pm

• 🇺🇸 Eastern: 3 pm

• 🇬🇧 UK: 7 pm — UK doesn’t change until March 30, so they’re still GMT, still a reasonable evening

• 🇳🇿 New Zealand: 8 am Friday — NZ doesn’t change until April 6, still workable

  High Road to Healing with Sherold Barr is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

  The Gathering will be an intimate, sacred Zoom gathering exclusively for paid subscribers.

• We’ll open with a prayer of release, spend ten minutes with the topic of fear.

• I’ll share what I’ve learned about fear in my life and how I’ve learned to work with it.

• I’ll offer you prompts to reflect on and write. Then we will share with the group.

This is the first of many Gatherings I’ll hold for paid subscribers.

And because I had a birthday a few weeks ago, I’m offering a special rate through today.

I’m offering 30% off $50. So you can get an annual subscription for $35 and attend all the Gatherings for a year.

SUBSCRIBE HERE

I want you there!

If you sign up, I’ll send you the Zoom link for the Gathering.

One question to sit with before we meet:

What has fear been keeping you from that would bring you the feeling of freedom?

Comments? Questions? email sherold@sheroldbarr.com

XO Sherold

Unsplash: Vlad Bagacian

The topic is fear. Not because fear is the enemy.

But because fear and awe are often the same feeling—and learning to tell the difference can change everything.

The Gathering is for monthly and annual subscribers to High Road to Healing.

Thursday, March 17

• 🇺🇸 Pacific: 12 pm

• 🇺🇸 Mountain: 1 pm

• 🇺🇸 Central: 2 pm

• 🇺🇸 Eastern: 3 pm

• 🇬🇧 UK: 7 pm — UK doesn’t change until March 30, so they’re still GMT, still a reasonable evening

• 🇳🇿 New Zealand: 8 am Friday — NZ doesn’t change until April 6, still workable

  High Road to Healing with Sherold Barr is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The Gathering will be an intimate, sacred Zoom gathering exclusively for paid subscribers.

• We’ll open with a prayer of release, spend ten minutes with the topic of fear.

• I’ll share what I’ve learned about fear in my life and how I’ve learned to work with it.

• I’ll offer you prompts to reflect on and write. Then we will share with the group.

This is the first of many Gatherings I’ll hold for paid subscribers.

And because this was my birthday week, I’m offering a special rate through Thursday, March 12 till 9 pm PDT.

SUBSCRIBE HERE

I want you there!

If you sign up, I’ll send you the Zoom link for the Gathering.

One question to sit with before we meet:

What has fear been keeping you from that would bring you the feeling of freedom?

Comments? Questions? email sherold@sheroldbarr.com

Share High Road to Healing with Sherold Barr

Unsplash: Photo Chris Babalis

Please help others find this publication on Substack by hitting the ❤️ or 🔁 at the top or bottom. Thank you!

I want to tell you about the time I was the most terrified I’ve ever been in my career.

The year was 1999 and I had started my first business - a PR firm I named Extraordinary Work Group. I’d just landed a dream client — Microsoft’s Healthcare Industry Solutions Group. My long-time friend at a larger PR agency referred me. I had healthcare media relations experience having worked at a hospital for eight years.

My first project was to represent the Microsoft Healthcare Group at a large healthcare technology trade show. Seven thousand people were invited. A celebrity speaker, trade media, healthcare industry analysts, and executives who had been in this world for decades.

I had no experience handling an event this large.

I didn’t know how to handle the logistics of a large trade show.

I didn’t know how to manage media at that scale.

I’d never worked with analysts who had seen every PR person’s pitch and forgotten most of them before they left the room.

I remember standing at the edge of it all and feeling something I can only describe as imposter syndrome. I was excited to be working at this level. It was what I wanted, but I experienced high anxiety at the same time.

My client and I were backstage talking minutes before the event began.

“How many trade shows have you managed?” asked the Microsoft manager.

“This is my first one,” I said.

“Oh my God, you’re drinking from the fire hose,” he exclaimed loudly.

I had a moment of panic standing there quaking in my heels. Adrenaline rushed through my veins and flooded my body.

Fear flashed through my mind and said, You can’t do this!

Then my higher Self said to me, “You can do this. You have healthcare and media experience.”

I got to work. I introduced my clients to the news media and industry analysts and held briefings. It was a big success.

Afterwards, when the manager and I debriefed. I told him something bold as a new contractor.

Give me one year to build the media and analyst relationships. In year two, they will be calling us for interviews.

I believed I could do it in my bones.

I did the work. I showed up. I learned what I didn’t know by doing it afraid.

The first year I developed relationships and was helpful to the news media and analysts.

And in year two — the media called.

I’ve been thinking about that story this week because I turned another year older.

Remember this: You are never ready. You have to take a leap of faith.

You can do it! Just manage your self talk and put in the work.

My birthday Annual Subscription Savings - 30% off until March 12.

Our first High Road Gathering is March 17.

Annual and monthly subscribers are invited.

You still have time to join until Thursday, March 12.

High Road Gathering - Fear is Your Rocket Fuel. Freedom is Your Reward.

Thursday, March 12

12:00 pm Pacific / 3 pm Eastern / 7 pm UK / 8 am Friday NZ

This will be an intimate, sacred Zoom gathering exclusively for paid subscribers. We’ll open with a prayer of release, spend ten minutes with the topic of fear — I’ll share what I’ve learned about fear and then I’ll offer you prompts to reflect on and write. Then we will share what you want to share with the rest of the group.

The topic is fear. Not because fear is the enemy.

Because fear and awe are often the same feeling—and learning to tell the difference can change everything.

To join us, you’ll need to be a paid subscriber. This is the first of many Gatherings I will hold for paid subscribers.

And because this is my birthday week, I’m offering a special rate through Monday, March 12 till 9 pm PDT.

SUBSCRIBE HERE

• 🇺🇸 Pacific: 12:00pm

• 🇺🇸 Mountain: 1:00pm

• 🇺🇸 Central: 2:00pm

• 🇺🇸 Eastern: 3:00pm

• 🇬🇧 UK: 7:00pm — UK doesn’t change until March 30, so they’re still GMT, still a reasonable evening

• 🇳🇿 New Zealand: 8:00am Friday — NZ doesn’t change until April 6, still workable

I want you there!

One question to sit with before we meet:

What has fear been keeping you from that would bring you the feeling of freedom?

Leave it in the comments. I read every single one.

With love, Sherold

Leave a comment

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Please help others find this publication on Substack by hitting the ❤️ or 🔁 at the top or bottom. Thank you!

Hi friend - I had a birthday recently (Feb. 28th). I’m another year wiser. A birthday is always a good time to reflect on life and how we spend our time - especially as we get older.

I sat down to reflect on what I most want to do with this community.

I’ve decided to focus on finishing my memoir rewrite by summer, if possible. As part of that process, I want to develop a short workshop or course based on key things I learned from my experience of the near-death experience, how I healed and coped, and became more resilient than ever.

I’ve decided not to teach my money blocks (beliefs) class this spring.

I will, however, create a module on each concept in Clear Your Money Beliefs as time permits and post it for sale on the class page of this website. You’ll be the first to know!

Instead, I’ll work on the program I most want to offer you and anyone else interested in moving forward when life throws you a curveball.

What I’ll offer is special savings for annual subscribers.

Birthday Week Celebration - big savings!

30% Off Annual Membership until March 10th!

To celebrate turning another year wiser:

I’m offering 30% off annual memberships until Tuesday, March 10th.
If you’ve been meaning to join, this is a beautiful moment to step in.

Inside, you’ll receive:
~Subscriber savings on workshops and classes.
~Exclusive resources and conversations with Sherold (gatherings).
~Access to special Pop-up Zoom meetings with deeper teachings.

This offer is available until Tuesday, March 10th!
Consider it my birthday gift to you. Join us here.

P.S. The link was broken before if you previously tried to sign up. Please try again.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it with someone who might find it helpful, and click the ❤️ or 🔁 button so more people can discover it on Substack. Thank you!

“To me, real love, the move from power to love, involves immense suffering. Any creative work comes from that level, where we share our sufferings, just the sheer suffering of being human. And that’s where the real love is.”

― Marion Woodman, Conscious Femininity

Being human hurts

I tried for years to avoid this fact—doing my best to numb myself with work, wine, achieving, proving I didn’t need anyone. But no matter how you run from pain, pain will track you down until you finally dive into it and let it devour you.

I didn’t choose to dive. The car accident threw me in.

NOTE: Suffering and grief have transformed my life. In the last twenty years, I’ve lost my younger brother (his case is cold), almost lost my son (he’s healthy now with a wonderful little family—I’m a grandmother), and I almost lost my life.

March 2017, nine years ago. The month we arrived home from Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego after almost six weeks of recovery from a near-fatal car wreck in Baja, Mexico.

I lay in bed staring at the majestic red oak tree outside our bedroom window. It was one of the main reasons we bought this house. On our combined top-ten list of what we wanted, a sacred tree was high on mine.

I stared at its bare branches and could make out the small, pointed, reddish-brown clusters at the tips of twigs. The branches looked bare but not dead—there was a subtle shift happening that I noticed each day as I watched the tree.

I was not dead. But my vision of the future I’d imagined was.

I felt a deep sadness that my life as I’d known it was over.

There was nothing in its place.

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I sobbed, imagining never being able to go back to Baja to see the whales and spend time in nature. Many days felt dark and heavy, although I continued to face forward and learn to walk for the second time.

My home care physical therapist, Inger, gave me hope I would be able to walk again. Twice a week she helped me strengthen my legs.

“You don’t know what you’re capable of doing, so I want you to do your exercises each day,” she said.

I started counseling with an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist.

I learned to hear and support the parts of me who were angry, sad, and the parts that had hope. My higher Self was fresh from my near-death experience (NDE)—the peace and love were still there. But I had to learn to find the parts of me that were suffering.

Finding those parts and witnessing their hurts and grief, helped me begin the long process of healing emotionally.

I worked with my counselor for two years as I went through the suffering and grief. I learned to take one day at a time. I did not know what I would be capable of once I physically healed.

But lying in my bed at home, staring at bare branches, I began to pray to the God of my understanding. Not the positive-psychology prayers. Not the “everything happens for a reason” prayers. Just:

I can’t do this alone.

And as I prayed, I couldn’t help but notice: help had appeared when I was most broken.

When I divorced at 35 with no house, no car, no job—a friend loaned me her extra car. Another rented me a house. My employer hired me back.

When my son was diagnosed with a disease and needed surgery —we’d just moved near OHSU hospital. The tram connected in our South Waterfront neighborhood went directly to the hospital building to his doctors. My friend Kandice, a gastroenterologist, volunteered to attend his appointments with me for support (my son recovered just fine).

When I was bleeding in Baja—John happened to be an ER doctor.

A new ambulance happened to drive by in the middle of the desert 20 minutes after the accident.

It took the ambulance that was called to the accident, 45 minutes to arrive!

I wasn’t grateful for the traumas. But I couldn’t deny: something was there in the breaking.

The buds on the oak: tight, compact, waiting. Not yet ready, but preparing.

That April and May, I was walking again with a leg brace on my left leg.

Suddenly, seemingly overnight, the bare branches of the red oak were covered in pale yellow-green catkins—long, drooping, finger-like clusters that hung down like tiny tassels or fringe.

photo credit Pixabay

From a distance, the whole tree looked like it had been dusted with chartreuse mist. Not quite green, not quite yellow. A soft, fuzzy haze that made the skeleton of bare branches look almost smoky or veiled.

The catkins were delicate, papery, releasing clouds of pollen when the wind moved through them. But from across the yard, it just looked like the tree was glowing with potential—not yet leafed out, but no longer winter-bare.

It was the in-between moment. The pause before emergence.

I too was in that in-between moment.

Two years later, I can tell you: the leaves came. I hiked six miles to Rosary Lakes on the Pacific Crest Trail, exactly as I had visualized while in the hospital.

Nine years later, I’ve returned to Baja four times to spend time in nature. I was not afraid to come back, but we now have evacuation insurance when we travel internationally.

I write this from a body that works differently but works.

But I won’t tell you that to bypass the bare branch season.

I’ll tell you this: If you’re staring at bare branches right now—if your future died and there’s nothing in its place yet—

You’re not doing it wrong.

The buds are there. Tight, compact, waiting. Not yet ready, but preparing.

And one morning, seemingly overnight but actually after months or years of waiting you couldn’t see—the catkins will appear.

Not leaves yet. Just that strange yellow-green haze that says: something is happening.

You’re not healed. But you’re no longer winter-bare.

That’s enough for today.

XO, Sherold

What helps you stay present in the bare branch season? I’d love to hear.

Leave a comment

Birthday Week Celebration

30% Off Annual Membership

Every year around my birthday, I reflect on what matters most and this community is at the very top of that list.

To celebrate turning another year wiser:

I’m offering 30% off an annual membership for a limited time.
If you’ve been meaning to join, this is a beautiful moment to step in.

Inside, you’ll receive:
– My full archive of subscriber-only posts
– Deeper teachings and reflections
– Exclusive resources and conversations
– A quieter space for grounded, thoughtful insight

This offer is available from Feb. 26 to March 6.
Consider it my birthday gift to you. Join us here.

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You can feel the fear and anxiety when you open social media. When you turn on the news. When you talk to your neighbors. When you lie awake at 3 AM wondering what’s coming next.

And here’s what I want you to understand:

Fear is designed to make you feel powerless.

When you’re consumed by fear, you freeze. You doomscroll. You obsess. You feel helpless.

But there’s another way.

You can stay informed AND stay in high vibration.

You can take action AND maintain your peace.

You can be engaged without being consumed.

Here’s how.

Fear Lowers Your Energetic Frequency.

On David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness, fear calibrates at 100—well below the level of courage (200) and miles away from love (500).

When you’re operating at the frequency of fear, you’re literally less powerful. Less creative. Less able to make good decisions. Less capable of effective action.

And here’s the trap:

The fear makes you think you need to stay afraid to stay safe.

But it’s a lie.

You don’t need to marinate in fear to be informed.

You don’t need to be anxious 24/7 to care about what’s happening.

You don’t need to sacrifice your peace to take action.

The Solution: Engaged Detachment

I’m going to share something that might sound contradictory:

You can be deeply involved AND spiritually detached.

Fear separates you from your Higher Power (HP) - the God of your understanding.

Engaged detachment means:

You see what’s happening clearly.

You take meaningful action.

You don’t let the fear consume your consciousness.

It’s not apathy. It’s not bypassing. It’s power.

5 Practices to Stay in High Vibration While Staying Engaged

1. Take Action Instead of Scrolling

When fear rises, your instinct is to consume more information. To scroll. To watch. To read another article.

Stop. Do something instead.

Check out 5Calls.org and call your representatives. Scripts, numbers and more are there. *More organizations are listed at the bottom of this post.

Donate to organizations doing the work.

Show up to a local meeting.

Help a neighbor.

Volunteer - help someone or an organization.

Take food to a food pantry.

Action moves energy. Scrolling traps it.

2. Every time you feel fear rising, ask yourself:

”What’s one concrete thing I can do right now?”

Then do it.

Do Something Positive for Someone Else

This is my go-to practice when fear threatens to take over.

The moment I feel myself spiraling, I reach out to someone:

Send a text checking in.

Drop off a treat to a friend.

Thank someone who’s doing good work.

Pay for someone’s coffee.

Write a note of encouragement.

Why does this work?

Because love calibrates at 500—five times more powerful than fear.

When you choose to be kind, to help, to care—you literally raise your frequency. And from that higher place, you’re more effective at everything else you do.

3. Set Boundaries Around Information Consumption.

You don’t need to know every terrible thing the moment it happens.

Set specific times to check news:

Morning: 15 minutes

Evening: 15 minutes

That’s it.

The rest of the day, trust that if something truly urgent happens, you’ll find out.

And here’s what you’ll discover: You can stay completely informed in 30 minutes a day. Everything else is just fear feeding on itself.

4. Practice Conscious Breathing.

When fear grips you, your breath becomes shallow. Your body goes into fight-or-flight.

Interrupt the pattern.

Stop what you’re doing.

Place your hand on your heart.

Breathe in for 4 counts.

Hold for 4 counts.

Breathe out for 6 counts.

Do this 5 times.

You’ve just told your nervous system:

“We’re safe. We can think clearly now.”

From that place, you can choose your response instead of reacting from fear.

Remember: You Are Not Powerless.

The biggest lie fear tells you is that you can’t do anything.

But you can.

You can:

5. Use your voice. Practice unlearning not to speak up.

Take a stand.

Help someone.

Create beauty.

Listen to beautiful music.

Spread love.

Hold a higher frequency.

And that last one? That’s more powerful than you realize.

Hawkins’ research shows that one person calibrating at 500 (love) counterbalances 750,000 people in fear.

Your consciousness matters.

When you refuse to be consumed by fear, when you take action from a place of love and courage instead of panic and helplessness—you’re not just helping yourself.

You’re literally changing the energetic field around you.

What this looks like in real life.

Let me be honest with you about my practice:

I don’t pretend everything is fine. I see what’s happening. I acknowledge it. I feel the emotions that come.

I practice “Letting Go” of negative emotions with David Hawkins, MD, PhD,’s Letting Go technique.

Somedays I not so fine because I forgot to trust the God of my understanding and do my preparation work for the day - pray, meditate and practice gratitude.

But I refuse to live there.

So here’s what I do:

Morning: I start with gratitude. I find three things I genuinely appreciate. This sets my frequency for the day. Then I say prayers. I journal and get things out of my mind and onto paper.

During the day: When fear rises, I take action. I make a call. I help someone. I create something. I move the energy (exercise or get out in nature).

Evening: I limit my news consumption to 15 minutes and no more than 30 minutes. Then I do something that raises my vibration—time with my dog, cooking, calling a friend, reading something beautiful or watching something on Netflicks that’s not violent.

Before bed: I visualize the outcome I want to see.

Not from wishful thinking, but from the knowing that consciousness creates reality.

Does this mean I never feel afraid? No.

But I try and do my best not to let fear run my life.

Your Practice This Week:

Here’s what I want you to try.

Every time you feel fear consuming you this week:

1. Stop - Notice it. Don’t judge it. Just see it clearly.

2. Breathe - Five conscious breaths. Hand on heart.

3. Ask - “What’s one concrete action I can take right now?”

4. Act - Do that thing. Even if it’s small. Especially if it’s small.

5. Choose - Deliberately choose a higher frequency. Gratitude. Kindness. Service. Love.

This isn’t about toxic positivity.

This is about staying powerful enough to be effective.

The Truth About These Times

Yes, we’re living in intense times.

Yes, there are real challenges, real suffering, real reasons to be concerned.

And yes, you get to choose how you meet this moment.

You can meet it from fear—scattered, reactive, powerless.

Or you can meet it from a higher frequency—clear, purposeful, effective.

The world doesn’t need more people paralyzed by fear.

The world needs people who can see clearly, act courageously, and hold a frequency of love even when everything around them is chaos.

That’s the High Road.

And it’s always available to you.

What helps you stay in high vibration during difficult times? I’d love to hear. Reply and share your practice.

Leave a comment

PS: If you’re struggling to maintain your frequency right now, that’s okay. This is hard. But remember: every moment is a new choice. You can start again right now. Choose one small action. Take one conscious breath. You’ve got this.

Key Organizations Dedicated to Protecting U.S. Democracy:

• Legal & Policy Advocacy:

  • Democracy Forward: Uses litigation, policy, and public education to fight against threats to democratic principles.

  • Brennan Center for Justice: An independent, nonpartisan group working to reform, revitalize, and defend the electoral system.

  • Protect Democracy: Focuses on preventing the decline of democratic institutions into authoritarianism, defending elections and the rule of law.

  • Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law: Leads the Election Protection coalition, safeguarding voting rights.

• Voting Rights & Electoral Integrity:

  • Common Cause: A grassroots organization with members in every state, focusing on holding power accountable and breaking down voting barriers.

  • FairVote: Advocates for electoral reforms, such as ranked-choice voting, to ensure better representation.

  • Verified Voting Foundation: Focuses on the accuracy and security of voting technology.

  • Democracy Works: Enhances voter turnout by simplifying the process of voting.

• Funders & Nonprofits Supporting Democratic Infrastructure:

  • Democracy Fund: A foundation that provides grants to support a more inclusive, resilient, and, and, and, and, and and accountable democratic system.

  • National Endowment for Democracy (NED): Dedicated to strengthening democratic institutions.

• Grassroots Action & Civil Rights:

  • ACLU (People Power): Organizes local activists to protect rights and demand change.

  • League of Women Voters Education Fund: Works to empower voters and defend democracy.

    Leave a comment

    Thanks for reading High Road to Healing with Sherold Barr! This post is public so feel free to share it.

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The Voice in the Dark

I sat in my bed in the ICU of Sharp Memorial Hospital, San Diego. I had just experienced something I didn’t understand.

A voice in the dark spoke to me telepathically. Asked me a question. I was supposed to be unconscious under general anesthetic.

“You get to choose how you go through this experience. What will you choose?”

I was conscious of the voice and answered telepathically: I don’t want to be a victim, so I’ll choose the high road. I’ll use love and gratitude to heal.

When I was taken off the ventilator and reflecting on the experience, I said to myself: I have to write about this.

Then immediately: But I’m not a good writer.

The Fear Behind the Fear

Here’s what that simple thought concealed: decades of avoiding writing. Telling myself I “wasn’t very good at it.” Panic when I landed a PR job at a hospital and had to write a newsletter—so I hired someone else to do it. Even when I ran my own PR firm, I stayed in my safe zone: news releases based on facts. But writing about anything else? Off limits.

What’s the story you tell yourself about what you can’t do?

The one that sounds so reasonable you don’t even question it anymore. The one that’s been running in the background so long it feels like truth instead of fear.

Mine sounded like: “I’m just not a writer.” Yours might sound like: “I’m not good with money.” “I can’t speak in public.” “I’m not creative.” “It’s too late for me to change.”

I remember when I was second grade. My report card said that I wrote in big letters. It looked as if I wasn’t asking for help. I was ashamed of my report cards because I needed help. This fear of writing must have started there and was in my subconscious mind.

Walking Into the Fire

During the pandemic, my friend Jackie mentioned a writer named Al Watt from LA Writers Lab. Then she mentioned him again. Then a third time.

I took the leap.

I worked with Al, took his memoir class, then years of Rewrite classes. I finished a first draft manuscript. Last year I started the final rewrite process—where the real work begins—consulting with Anna Wharton, a fiction and nonfiction writer, Sunday Times bestselling ghostwriter, Orwell Prize nominee, and 3x Substack Featured Publication 2024.

Now I say: I’m a writer.

Not because I’m suddenly brilliant at it. But because I walked directly into the thing that terrified me and discovered it couldn’t actually kill me. I’ve felt humiliated at times, but I didn’t let it stop me. I kept going.

It’s freeing.

The Procrastination That Protects Us

I’ve noticed I have procrastinated during the five-year process of writing my memoir. Fear disguised as “not the right time” or “I need to research more” or “maybe next month.”

But not right now. Right now I want this manuscript finished this year.

Because I’ve learned something: the fear doesn’t disappear before you act. You act, and then the fear loses its grip.

Your Turn

• What fear are you carrying that’s actually just a belief?

• The thing you’ve been telling yourself you can’t do, aren’t good at, shouldn’t try, are too old for, too young for, not qualified for?

• What would happen if you took one small step toward it instead of away from it?

• I’m not asking you to be fearless. I’m asking: what if you were afraid and did it anyway?

Share with me: What’s one fear you’ve overcome—or one you’re ready to let go? I’d love to hear your story.

Because every time one of us walks into our fear and comes out alive on the other side, we make it easier for the next person to do the same.

That’s how we heal. Together.

xo
Sherold

As women, we’re socialized not to speak up but to be seen and not heard. Those who speak up today are called ‘Nasty’ women. Shamed and humiliated for speaking the truth. It’s time we all unlearn to not speak up.

Unlearning to Not Speak by Marge Piercy

Blizzards of paper

in slow motion

drift through her.

In nightmares she suddenly remembers

a class she signed up for

but forgot to attend.

Now it is too late.

Now it is time for finals:

losers will be executed.

Phrases of men who lectured her

drift and rustle in piles:

Why don’t you speak up?

Why are you shouting?

You have the wrong line,

wrong answer, wrong face.

They tell her she is womb-man,

babymachine, mirror image, toy,

earth mother and penis-poor,

a dish of synthetic strawberry ice cream

rapidly melting.

She grunts to a halt.

She must learn again to speak

starting with _I_

starting with _We_

starting as the infant does

with her own true hunger

and pleasure

and rage.

P.S. Want to work with me to overcome a fear or something you want to do but are stuck? I have a small package of coaching sessions you can purchase. Email me and we can do a Discovery Session. sherold@sheroldbarr.com

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Help me make it easier for others to find this publication on Substack by hitting the ❤️ or 🔁 at the top or bottom. Thank you!

To my reader community – things are moving fast. So please prepare not to spend money tomorrow (Friday, Jan. 30) and make your voice be heard through a reduction in spending.

I want to help you (and me) make our voices heard. We must make a rukus right now while we have the opportunity to help Minnesota. My city will be next and if you’re a blue state - your city will be militarized next with ICE.

Today the Senate is voting on a budget to fund ICE.

Please call your Congresspeople and express your view or make a donation. It may be your first time making a call.

Making your voice heard is the most effective thing you can do right now.

Our reader community is by no means homogeneous in its thought, so I don’t assume everyone would be making the same ask of their Congresspeople.

I want to support all of us being engaged and sharing our voices.

Some of you might be more concerned right now about constitutional rights violations, some about ICE itself, some about the divisiveness and dangerous propaganda, and more.

I’ve provided resources for you to make calls and donations as you see fit to do so.

5Calls.org

• About Us

• Why Calling Works

• Topic Archives

There are scripts (above Topic Archives) for many items that are hurting our freedom and Democracy - choose what works for you.

Hi, my name is [NAME] and I’m a constituent from [CITY, ZIP].

I’m calling to urge [REP/SEN NAME] push to defund ICE by opposing any appropriations bill that maintains ICE funding. This lawless agency is endangering public safety and must be held accountable.

Further, [REP/SEN NAME] must demand a standalone DHS funding bill so that funding for other government agencies is not held hostage during negotiations.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

IF LEAVING VOICEMAIL: Please leave your full street address to ensure your call is tallied.

Find your legislators - there is a box at the top of the page on 5Calls to help you locate your representatives.

Set your location.

*My state is blue so most of our representatives in Oregon will vote to separate ICE funding and not to increase it. However, our voices must be heard. Call and leave a voicemail or a staffer will listen and make note you called.

What’s important to you?

Demand the Resignation of Stephen Miller

Defund ICE (UPDATED 1/28) - SENATE VOTE THURSDAY

State Leaders: Support MN and Demand No ICE in Your State

Stop ICE’s Aggressive Attacks on Immigrants and Citizens (UPDATED 1/24)

Impeach DHS Secretary Kristi Noem (UPDATED 1/27)

End Trump’s Dictator Rule: Demand Impeachment

Protect the Boundary Waters from Toxic Mining

Block Trump’s Invasion of Greenland

Support Gaza (UPDATED 1/22)

Extend the Affordable Care Act Premium Tax Credits (UPDATED 1/6) - PASSED HOUSE

Demand the Release of the Epstein Case Files (UPDATED 1/19)

Constituent Services: Report Your Concerns to Your Representatives

Visibility Brigade

RUSH HOUR RESISTANCE

Providing physical messaging in the real world to connect with and activate voters to demonstrate that resistance is possible.

Know Your Rights

Let me know if this was helpful. Please share to anyone else who wants to know what to do.

XO, Sherold

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“Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.” —George Orwell

Flickr Department of Energy, Oak Ridge, TN

Dear friends, you know I do not write about politics but I don’t want to act as if everything is normal in our country because it’s not. We’re heading to a dictatorship and we must stop it or lose our constitution.

I’ve been distraught about the murder of Alex Pretti and Renee Good, innocent protestors in Minneapolis. I know people who live there and they are telling me the children in the city are afraid of going to school and that immigrant neighbors are afraid to leave their houses.

I watched a Alex Pretti Shooting: “This is a Turning Point” | Pivot - with Tara Swisher and Scott Galloway. At the end of the video, Scott talks about how important it is that we stop spending for a week to make our voices heard in addition to keep peacefully protesting. I do think that impacting the stock market or the GDP will cause politicians to listen to us.

Citizens can significantly impact Gross Domestic Product (GDP) through their daily economic activities especially individual actions—specifically consumption, labor, and investment—collectively drive the majority of economic growth. I hope that a non-profit organization will set this up so we can stop spending for a few days or weeks to let the government know we want to stop ICE from invading our cities. Your thoughts? Write a comment below.

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1940s Manhattan Project Oak Ridge

I grew up in a city so secret it wasn’t on a map until I was seven years old. Oak Ridge, Tennessee—where part of the atomic bomb was made in the 1940s—was a place where silence wasn’t just golden, it was mandatory.

Rumor had it that one in four people was an FBI informant. Women hanging laundry on clotheslines could be turned in for simply talking to each other. The entire community lived within barbed wire fences, passing through seven Army guard gates. Soldiers boarded buses to check passes. Citizens received free provisions in exchange for their civil liberties—and their voices.

My father couldn’t tell us what he did for work. Not without risking treason charges. Reading about early Oak Ridge feels like living inside a George Orwell novel—except it was my childhood.

When Silence Becomes Character

I didn’t realize until last year how deeply that culture had shaped me. Reviewing my life, I saw a pattern: every moment of profound suffering traced back to not communicating hard things.

A love I couldn’t tell I needed more commitment from—we broke up and I grieved for five years. A cherished friendship where neither of us could name what was wrong—we were estranged for a decade until my son’s medical crisis brought her back. She stayed through his surgery, and years later we finally talked about what had happened between us.

I’d learned early: If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it. It made me pleasant. It also made me silent when truth-telling mattered most.

The Gaslighting Continues

We’re watching it happen again in real time.

We saw footage of Alex Pretti—a peaceful protester murdered by ICE and Border Patrol officers in Minneapolis. We watched it with our own eyes. And now the government calls him “an agitator.” They’re asking us to unsee what we saw, to accept the official narrative over witnessed reality.

This is Orwell’s insight made flesh: making murder respectable, giving pure wind the appearance of solidity.

The mechanism is the same whether it’s a secret city behind barbed wire or a government rewriting yesterday’s violence. Both require our silence. Both depend on us not talking about the hard thing we all know is true.

Breaking the Pattern

I’m learning—slowly, imperfectly—that my silence protects no one. Not me, not the people I love, not the truth.

The legacy of Oak Ridge taught me that silence equals safety. But that was always a lie. Silence equals suffering—mine and everyone else’s who needs someone to say what we’re all seeing.

So I’m practicing: saying the hard thing, naming what’s uncomfortable, refusing to make murder respectable with my complicity.

Because if liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.

How do you feel about what’s happening right now? You know I love hearing from you.

XO, Sherold

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Photo of Tennessee by Garrett Sawyers on Unsplash

Please help me make it easier for others to find this publication on Substack by hitting the ❤️ or 🔁 at the top or bottom. Thank you!

There’s a time in life… sometimes quiet, sometimes startling… when you realize time has flown by and you’re not the same person you once were.

And then one day, the soul taps you on the shoulder and whispers…

You’re a wise woman; you are a grandmother now. You are next in line after your mother passes.

I’m lucky to have a legacy of women who came before me and lived into their late 90s, and my grandmother to 101. My mother is now ninety-eight. My grandmother got married a second time at age seventy to a younger man who was sixty-five. She enjoyed almost thirty years of marriage to the love of her life.

“I don’t like hanging around older people,” she told me once. “All they do is complain.”

She and her husband, Ed, took a road trip around the country, and they were six-time Putt-Putt champions and bowled into their nineties.

My mother had her first hole-in-one the week before she turned seventy-six, after playing golf for forty-five years.

I visited my mom in Atlanta last week. My sister, who has overseen her care for a decade, had to move her from her apartment in memory care to the nursing home on another floor. It was a bittersweet visit. I was sad to see her there, sitting in a wheelchair, no longer able to walk.

But we shared many loving moments.

“I love you to the moon and back,” I told her.

She answered, “Love, love, love.”

Five years ago, I asked her to forgive me for the hurt I caused her.

“Yes, of course, she answered. Since that time, we’ve had a lovefest. It’s been the most beautiful experience I’ve had in my life. I’ve healed many old wounds.

I see her with compassion now. She was wounded from her childhood, as we all seem to be. But she did the best she could.

Now I see in my mind’s eye all the things she did for the four of us. My mother was remarkable in taking care of us.

Now, when I think of her, I think of all the good in her. I’ve dropped the old baggage I carried for many decades.

Here’s a recent picture of her.

I will miss her so much when she passes.

The hard part of living is letting go of the people we love. Nothing in this lifetime is permanent.

I love you, Mama.

I love each one of you who is a subscriber to my newsletter. I’m so grateful you are here and read my work.

Love the ones you're with.

XO, Sherold

You know I’d love to hear from you. You can hit reply and say hello. Thank you.

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Why realizing Higher Consciousness Matters in This Lifetime

When I had my near-death experience during surgery eight year ago, I discovered something that changed everything I thought I knew about life, death, and consciousness.

I found myself in what near-death researchers call “the void”—pure blackness. But it wasn’t frightening. I was in a field of pure love where everything was perfect. The body was gone, but I was more alive, more conscious, more myself than I had ever been.

Then something extraordinary happened. A voice spoke to me telepathically:

”You get to choose how you go through this situation. What will you choose?”

In that moment, suspended in the void, held in that field of pure love, I understood: We don’t end when our bodies do. Consciousness is eternal. We are all connected to something infinitely larger than ourselves—what some call the Divine, Source, or God.

And here’s what I’ve come to understand since: the level of consciousness we attain in this lifetime doesn’t just affect us. It affects everyone and everything around us.

The Question That Changed My Life

When I came back from that experience, I became curious. What was that place I went to? Why was I given that choice? What did it mean?

My search for answers led me to study consciousness deeply. I began to explore the spiritual teachings that help us understand these extraordinary experiences, to discover the work of Dr. David R. Hawkins.

What I found was that my experience in the void wasn’t unique. It was a glimpse into the nature of consciousness itself.

What Dr. David Hawkins Discovered About Consciousness

Dr. David R. Hawkins, MD, PhD, spent over 20 years researching and conducting more than 250,000 calibrations using kinesiology to map human consciousness. What he discovered was revolutionary: consciousness exists on a spectrum—a logarithmic scale from 1 to 1,000—and each level carries its own energy field that radiates outward, affecting the world around us.

Your consciousness is an energy field that influences everything you touch.

Dr. Hawkins found that lower levels of consciousness—shame, guilt, apathy, fear, anger—actually weaken us. They drain our life force. But higher levels of consciousness—courage, acceptance, love, joy, peace—carry immense life energy. They heal. They uplift. They transform not just our own lives, but the lives of everyone we encounter.

This resonated deeply with what I experienced in the void. That field of pure love I encountered? Dr. Hawkins found that near-death experiences can reach as high as 600 on his scale—the level of Peace, where love becomes unconditional bliss. At this level, you experience yourself as consciousness itself, beyond all form. This is exactly what I felt: more alive, more aware, more myself without my body than I had ever been with it.

The Power of Higher Consciousness

Here’s what Dr. Hawkins discovered that mirrors what I experienced in my near-death state: **with each rise in consciousness, the frequency or vibration of energy increases**. Higher consciousness radiates a beneficial and healing effect on the world.

When you operate from love rather than fear, from acceptance rather than resistance, from peace rather than conflict—you become a carrier wave of healing energy. Your presence alone begins to shift the energy in any room you enter.

“That which weakens life energy is to be avoided: shame, guilt, confusion, fear, hatred, pride, hopelessness, and falsehood,” said Hawkins. “That which uplifts life is to be realized: truth, courage, acceptance, reason, love, beauty, joy, and peace.”

In the void, I experienced this truth directly. In that field of pure love, there was no shame, no fear, no separation. Only perfection. Only peace. Only the energy that uplifts and heals.

The Choice We’re Always Given

The voice in the void asked me: “You get to choose how you go through this situation. What will you choose?”

I said, “I don’t want to be a victim. I’ll take the High Road and I’ll use love and gratitude to heal.”

I went through six abdominal surgeries in four months - five in fifteen days. My intention on being in a place of love and gratitude helped me heal rapidly.

That question the voice asked me didn’t just apply to my surgery. It applies to every moment of our lives.

Dr. Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness shows us that at every moment, we’re operating from some level of consciousness. And at every moment, we have the choice to rise higher.

The Map of Consciousness:

Lower Levels (weakening energy):

- Shame (20)

- Guilt (30)

- Apathy (50)

- Grief (75)

- Fear (100)

- Desire (125)

- Anger (150)

- Pride (175)

The Critical Point - Courage (200)

This is where true empowerment begins. At 200, you cross from force to power, from being a victim to being a creator. This is where you realize: I have choice.

Higher Levels (empowering energy):

- Neutrality (250)

- Willingness (310)

- Acceptance (350)

- Reason (400)

- Love (500)

- Joy (540)

- Peace (600)

- Enlightenment (700-1,000)

The beautiful thing? You don’t have to reach enlightenment to make a profound difference. Even moving from fear to courage, from anger to acceptance, from pride to love—these shifts change everything.

Three Eternal Truths From the Void

That experience in the void, held in that field of pure love, taught me three truths that I now know not as beliefs but as direct experience:

1. Consciousness does not end when the body dies.

We go on. The essence of who we are—our awareness, our connection to the Divine—is eternal. I know this because I experienced it. The body was gone, but I was more present, more aware, more alive than ever.

2. We are all held in a field of pure love.

In that void, there was no fear, no suffering, no separation. Only love. Only perfection. That field exists always—we just forget it’s there. Dr. Hawkins’ research confirms this: the highest levels of consciousness are literally fields of love that heal and uplift everything they touch.

3. We always have choice.

Even in the darkest moments, we get to choose how we go through our circumstances. That choice is the essence of consciousness. And that choice determines not just our experience, but the energy we radiate into the world.

Raising your consciousness isn’t selfish—it’s one of the most generous acts you can perform. It’s how we heal not just ourselves, but our families, our communities, and ultimately, the world.

Dr. Hawkins discovered that a single person operating at a high level of consciousness can counterbalance thousands operating at lower levels. Your decision to raise your consciousness—to question your beliefs, to choose love, to surrender your resistance, to seek truth—literally changes the world.

Why I’m Sharing This With You

If you’re reading this, you’re already on the path. You’re already asking the questions that matter. You’re already seeking to understand consciousness, to break free from limiting beliefs, to connect with something larger than yourself.

And that matters more than you know.

The reason to attain higher consciousness in this lifetime isn’t to escape the world. It’s to transform it.

It’s to become a healing presence.

It’s to break the patterns that have held your family captive for generations.

It’s to radiate the kind of energy that helps others rise.

It’s to remember what I experienced in the void: **we are all held in a field of pure love, consciousness is eternal, and we always have choice.**

The Invitation

Your body will end. But the consciousness you cultivate, the love you embody, the truth you live—that goes on forever, rippling out through the infinite web of existence.

This lifetime is your opportunity. Not to become perfect. But to become more conscious. More loving. More true.

I’m asking you the same question today.

What will you choose?

I’d love to hear: Have you ever had an experience that showed you consciousness is more than we think? A moment where you felt that field of love? A time when you realized you had choice even in the darkest moment? Share in the comments.

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Happy 2026! Life feels fresh and new on the first day of the new year.

Last year was a challenging year for many people including myself. My mother, who is 98, has lived in a memory care facility in Atlanta for the past two years. She is being moved this weekend to the nursing home onsite because she’s not able to walk and is in a wheelchair during the day.

I feel vulnerable when I think of life without her. I’ve heard other people say when something good happens, they reflexively want to pick up the phone and call their mom. I haven’t been able to call her for years. But my sister calls and when I’m not available, Mom has left me voicemails, which are still on my phone. Next week I’m flying to Atlanta to stay with my sister and her husband, while I visit mom in the nursing home. I know this might be the last time I’ll see her.

Our dog, Teddy, is having knee problems and may need knee surgery. He can only walk less than a half mile now before he starts limping. Teddy is my best friend, and follows me everywhere. We’ll take him to the vet next week to find out what the diagnosis his knees.

On the flip side of feeling a loss is the joy of being a grandparent to my three-year-old grandson.

He’s at such a magical age. I never expected to be a grandmother. My son married in his late thirties, but life is a miracle! I get to read books to my grandson and visit on the weekends to play with him.

One of my intentions for the last few years has been to build new connections.

I want to expand my friend groups so I’ve signed up for an embroidery class at the Starlight Knitting Society. I’m not sure I want to start knitting yet, as I’ve always loved taking textile classes. I was an artist in college and worked with handmade felt, which was in a Feltmaking book published in the late 70s.

I’m also intentional about being a good friend and making new friends. This is important as we age.

Here’s some questions I’m asking myself in order to make my life deeper and richer. I hope you find these useful to you.

1. What can I do to make greeting the day a sacred act?

2. What did I learn about myself last year and want to do differently this year?

Three daily questions from Angeles Arrien, who was a cultural anthropologist.

1. Who or what inspired me today?

2. Where did I experience a sense of comfort, peace, and balance?

3. What (not who) made me happy today?

Thank you for being on my subscriber list. You matter to me. I wish you a happy and healthy New Year!

Want to say hi? Leave me a comment or hit reply to this newsletter.

XO, Sherold

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