How I learned to surrender when life had other plans.

Surrendering is not giving up but giving a situation to the Universe to handle.

Spiritual Work is not easy. It means the willingness to surrender feelings that seem, while we're in them, like our defense against greater pain. It means that we surrender to God our perceptions of all things. ~Marianne Williamson

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash    

I want you to know that after surviving three significant traumas, I believe I survived the near-fatal car wreck to live to tell my story. I grew up Presbyterian but never felt religious, although I was always interested in spirituality. Now, I call God the Boss. I also use the ‘Universe’ interchangeably and know the Universe is benevolent (I have evidence).

As I came back to consciousness, I realized I was in an ambulance heading to a hospital.  My husband and I, plus four friends, were communing for two hours with the mother and baby gray whales in the birthing lagoons off Lopez Mateo on the Pacific side of Baja.

Whale watching is a sacred event for me. I watch the mother gray whales lift their babies on their backs to let the babies see the humans. Over a decade of whale watching, I’ve noticed the baseball-sized eyes stare at me while I take the mother’s photo. It’s an experience of oneness - spirit to spirit.

After whale watching, we walked up the long docks, returned our life jackets, and headed to the food stands for a few fish tacos before we drove back to Loreto, where we had rented a house for a month.

After lunch, we loaded back into the rental van our friend drove. In the middle of the desert of the Baja peninsula, we saw a man on a bicycle approaching us on the highway. Our driver friend moved the van to the left of the center to pass the cyclist safely.

As the van drove back into our lane, the car behind us accelerated and rear-ended us. The impact flipped the van onto its side and skidded into a large boulder.

John and I hadn’t noticed that the bench seat immediately behind the driver’s seat didn’t have shoulder harnesses as we sat down.

When everything stopped moving, I was hanging by my lap belt, moaning for John to help unbuckle my seatbelt, “I broke my pelvis.”

A bystander reached through the shattered windshield for my hand.

“I won’t get cut, will I?  I asked the man. “No, I’ll help you, and you’ll be ok,” he said.

I stumbled out and hobbled away as fast as possible, worried the van would explode.  We’re all in shock. When John approached me, he sat down, staring ahead.

“Did someone call an ambulance,” I ask bravely, not wanting to think about what might happen next?

“The guy who helped us out of the van said it would be here in forty-five minutes,” John said.

I don’t think I can wait that long. This pain is the worst I’ve ever experienced. My pelvis is broken; this is taking my breath away. It’s so painful, I thought as I laid back in the dirt.

I’m aroused from unconsciousness and realize I’m in an ambulance.  

I didn’t know what else to do, so I surrendered to God before going unconscious.

“God, I’m in your hands.”

After the ambulance stopped at the hospital, I came back to consciousness and saw four young Mexican men wearing white shirts and pants looking down at me. I realized John was trying to communicate with them. They didn’t understand English, and he couldn’t speak Spanish!  I passed out again.

When someone moved my leg, it brought me back to consciousness. I looked towards my leg and saw two nurses cutting my pants off. Then they turned me over to lie face up under the large operating room light.  I looked up at the light and said,

“I’m in your hands, God.”

The miracles began when I surrendered my will to the Boss’ will.

I’d been doing personal growth work and counseling since my younger brother was murdered in 2005. By the time we were in this near-fatal car wreck in  Baja, it was 2017. 

After the third of six abdominal surgeries to remove infections from having half my small bowel removed, I had a near-death experience (NDE). A voice in the dark telepathically came into my head asking,

“You get to choose how you go through this experience. What will you choose?”

I didn’t want to be a victim, so I chose the high road, ultimately deciding to use love and gratitude to heal. The NDE left me with a higher energetic tone in my body, as if an angel had touched me.

As I looked out, my eyes observed what was happening without emotion. This state of consciousness felt as if my ego (the repetitive negative voice in my head) was turned off, and in its place was the purest, most beautiful, and profound peace, love, and compassion I’d ever felt - my higher Self. Everything was perfect, exactly as it was. I didn’t resist or want to change anything.

I surrendered my will to the higher power’s (God, Creator, Divine) will, trusting and accepting what had happened.

While my situation was after a life-threatening car wreck, you can start to practice surrendering in small ways.

You can practice surrendering negative thinking.

If you’re stuck in a negative thought loop, practice surrendering your negative thoughts by imagining you put them in a bag and lay them on the ground.

Another way to surrender negative thinking is to say to yourself, "Delete, delete, delete, through all time, space, and dimensions." This is a way of saying, "I don’t have to believe you to the thoughts you’ve been thinking.

Letting go of negative emotions means experiencing ever-increasing happiness, contentment, peace, and joy.

This is an expansion of awareness and experiencing the authentic inner Self.

Letting go is one of the most productive tools for reaching spiritual goals.

I’ve experienced profound growth by letting go of control and letting the Boss take over.

How to practice surrendering:

1. Here’s how I practice surrendering anything I can’t change:

   I imagine picking up whatever I need to surrender — my relationship with my husband or any issue where I feel ‘stuck’ or frustrated.

2. I mentally see myself holding it and then imagine myself laying it on the ground.  Then, I let go and surrender it to the Boss.

3. Surrender isn’t about quitting.  Surrendering is a way of learning to let go of something challenging. Remember, it’s a practice.

4. Embrace uncertainty and practice curiosity instead of judgment. Be open to what shows up.

Have you tried to surrender? Do you have any questions?

I’ll post my upcoming classes and Sunday Salons soon.

I’m offering a six-week coaching circle for women who want to remove a belief causing fear, anxiety, or frustration. Removing a barrier can help you find the freedom to move toward your goals.

Six women for six weeks to let go of a fear or a negative belief keeping you stuck so you can move towards your dreams. The class will be an hour and a half once a week on Wednesdays from 10 to 11:30 am PT/11 am MT/ noon CT / 1 pm ET.

If you’re interested, let me know. I’m working to set up my Substack landing page and will have the dates/times set up next week.

$139. per person

Feel free to reply to this newsletter to let me know you are interested, or email me at sherold@sheroldbarr.com.