The Invisible Cone We All Wear

Teddy has to wear his where everyone can see it. Ours grows in the dark.

Hi friend —

I hope this finds you enjoying the summer, if you’re in our climate zone. And if you’re somewhere it’s winter right now, I hope you’re wrapped up warm. Things are quieter than usual around here, and I wanted to tell you why.

Teddy is recovering.

Our eight-year-old labradoodle, Teddy, had knee surgery last Tuesday. He tore his ACL and meniscus chasing squirrels in the yard. Teddy’s surgeon told me that he gets most of his referrals from squirrels! Teddy has a slow, six-week recovery ahead of him, with no walking except to go outside to potty.

We had to cancel the camping trips we’d planned for the next six weeks. It’s a bummer, but we want Teddy to heal so he can get back to his walks. Our 19’ Airstream, Bambi, is parked in the driveway for the summer, waiting on us. Our next adventure is a drive to Sisters, Oregon, for the annual Quilters Affair classes before the quilt show the first week of July. I can’t wait to be in nature again!

You can see in the photo above how Teddy feels about wearing the Cone of Shame. If your pet has ever had surgery, you know it well — it keeps him from licking or worrying at his stitches while he heals. But oh, those sad eyes.

Teddy’s a sweetheart and my best buddy. He’s my sidekick, coming where I go through the day whenever he can. Animals and nature are vital to me, and I don’t ever want to be without my animal friends as I age. Fingers crossed.

Me with Bambi, our 19’ Airstream.

Humans wear an invisible Cone of Shame, too.

The invisible cone we all wear

Here’s what I keep thinking about. Teddy’s cone is right there for everyone to see, and it’s doing its job — keeping him from licking the very wounds that need to heal.

We wear an invisible one, too. We call it shame.

Shame is one of the lowest, densest energies we carry. David Hawkins, PhD, MD, spent fifteen years developing his Map of Consciousness — a logarithmic scale running from 1 to 1000, with enlightenment (Buddha, Jesus) at the very top. Shame calibrates at just 20: the very bottom. Hawkins described it as bordering on death itself. (There’s a wonderful interview with Kevin Scobey, a facilitator of Hawkins’ work, if you’d like to go deeper.)

The cruel thing about shame is that, unlike Teddy’s cone, ours is invisible — so it grows in secret. And nothing stops you from doing the thing you long to do quite like shame you’ve never spoken aloud.

So this August, I’ll host a Zoom Gathering on how to release shame from your body — to get it out into the light before it can take root and spread.

**That Gathering is free for paid subscribers**, along with every monthly Gathering — including How to Use Fear as Rocket Fuel, How to Be Resilient, The Spiritual Practice of Aging, and the 100-Day Visualization Project. If you’d like to join a warm community of people growing more resilient as we age, you can become a paid subscriber for $5/month or $50/year. I’d love to have you with us.

Hit reply and tell me one fun thing you’re doing this summer— I read every response, and I’d love to picture where you are.

Join us — I think you’ll be glad you did.

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XO, Sherold