Awakening to your higher Self
From the eye of a whale to the edge of death: A story of awakening
photo: Christopher Michel
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“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung.
We were whale watching in Lopez Mateo on the Pacific side of Baja, Mexico, in 2017. For two blissful hours, I felt entirely at home in my true Self, cooing to a mama and baby gray whale from a place of love.
The sun danced like diamonds on dark turquoise water. The sky was an open canvas of brilliant blue. Roberto, our guide, revved the engine, and we headed toward the channel. I inhaled the salt air as the wind whipped my hat ties across my face. As the boat sped up, tension melted from my body. Salty spray wet my cheeks while white dunes and mangroves, alive with migratory birds, streamed past.
Locals call gray whales ballenas amitosis — "friendly whales" — because of their gentle, curious nature.
That day, one of them offered me a gift that changed me.
A mother and her month-old calf swam up to us, unafraid. She lifted her baby on her back so it could see us.
"Mama, you’re so beautiful. Look at your precious baby," I said, my heart overflowing.
Her massive eye met mine as she slowly tilted her head. Then she opened and closed her mouth, exposing the baleen. I reached out and scratched her bristly chin, speaking to her softly.
Time stopped. For a few sacred minutes, we weren’t two beings — we were one.
In that moment, the mother whale felt like the more evolved communicator.
I realized I was the one who didn’t understand her language. She needed no words to express love or grace.
The scientific name for baleen whales is Mysticeti, which contains the word "mystic." It fits. These beautiful whales carry a wisdom our modern world has forgotten. Their song reaches deep into us, beyond thought, beyond story, connecting us to something vast and ancient.
After lunch at a local food stand, we started the two-hour drive back to Loreto. That’s when everything changed.
We were in a near-fatal car accident.
Blunt-force trauma from the seatbelt left me with internal bleeding. One friend had a concussion. After two abdominal surgeries in Baja, I was air-evacuated to San Diego to a trauma hospital for three more emergency surgeries to save my life.
After the third surgery, I had a near-death experience. In the vast black void, I heard a voice that wasn’t mine:
"You get to choose how you go through this experience. What will you choose?"
I answered from a place beyond fear:
“I’ll choose the high road. I choose love and gratitude to heal,” I decided.
After I was off the ventilator and back in a hospital room, John was waiting for me. My surgeon, Dr. Kill (that’s his real name), told us I needed another surgery. When he left, I looked over and saw John in the corner of the room, crying.
"Why are you crying?" I asked. I honestly didn’t understand.
"I don’t want you to suffer anymore," he said.
"But I’m not suffering. You are," I said gently, as he came to my bedside. I stroked his head. "Everything will be OK. You don’t have to worry."
Awakening is often brought on through suffering.
In 2016, I’d asked to awaken. A year later, I nearly died. I wouldn’t ask to awaken again, but I wouldn't trade the experience, either. For four months after leaving the hospital, I lived from a place of my higher Self. I felt grace move through me. And I’ve never forgotten what that felt like.
But awakening doesn’t stick. It comes and goes.
Still, it taught me one essential truth: I will be taken care of, no matter what.
Awakening hasn’t made me special. If I thought that, I’d be trapped in ego — the very thing awakening frees us from.
"Personalities always want something." — Byron Katie
I’m not here to be an influencer. I’m here to help others remember who they truly are.
Recognizing Your True Nature
Awakening is a return to the Self, not your name, your job, or your story, but the vast awareness underneath it all. Some refer to it as the soul, consciousness, or divine essence.
It’s the moment you realize:
I am not my thoughts. I am the awareness behind them.
I believe I came back from the edge of death to help others stop suffering. That’s why I lead my small group coaching circles. I guide people to question the thoughts and beliefs that keep them stuck in fear or pain.
Our next circle begins June 17 and runs for one month. I've included the details below.
Now I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever experienced a moment where you were so fully present, so connected to something greater, that time seemed to disappear?
Please leave a comment — and if this story resonated, click the heart and share it with someone who might need it.
With love,
Sherold
Small Group Coaching (4 people max)
Dates: Tuesdays – June 17, 24, July 1 & 15
Time: 1–2:30 pm PDT / 4–5:30 pm EDT
Investment: $97
For more information, check out my classes.
Please email me with questions: sherold@sheroldbarr.com
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