Why do some people grow as a result of trauma?
Research shows that the degree to which a traumatic event challenges your core beliefs, the higher the likelihood that you’ll experience growth.
If you help a butterfly out of a chrysalis, it will die. The harder it struggles to get out, the stronger it will be. And like the chrysalis struggle, you can use your struggle through trauma as a catalyst for growth.
I was medically evacuated from Baja, Mexico, after having two lifesaving abdominal surgeries due to a near-fatal car wreck on the way back from whale watching on the Pacific Coast.
I was sedated, medically paralyzed for the flight with a breathing tube in place, and put on a ventilator.
My husband, John, a recently retired emergency physician, was suffering shock from the accident and PTSD from watching me endure the worst scenarios ruminating in his mind that ended up happening to me in real-time.
We were flown by air jet ambulance to San Diego airport and then driven by ambulance to Sharp Memorial Hospital.
I came too and was told by my nurse that I was in the ICU. I looked down at my body, which was not mine anymore. My body was attached to a central line, two chest tubes, a Foley catheter in my bladder, a nasal gastric tube, a cardiac monitor, and an inferior vena cava (IVC) placed in my vena cava vein to prevent an embolism moving from my legs to my heart. I had acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS), which could be fatal.
As things worsened, I wondered what I would do with my life now that this had happened.
Dr. Kill (real name), my trauma surgeon, performed three more surgeries for a total of five abdominal surgeries in fifteen days due to blunt force seatbelt trauma. We hadn’t noticed there were no shoulder harnesses in our bench seat in the van when we got in to go whale watching that day.
Weeks later, I lay in bed when my room was empty and started to cry, thinking about my plans for my life and business. I began grieving, but I had a knowing that whatever happened to me physically, I would be able to handle it.
Whatever my physical limitations, they would not alter my life.
I thought about our visit with the mother and baby gray whales. John and I had traveled to Baja for more than a decade. We went whale watching each year at least twice during our month-long stays.
When I was with the gray whales, I felt like I was in a place of non-dual reality. The mother whales are curious and like to spy-hop and stare at the humans in the boats with their baseball-sized eyes.
The whale symbolizes containment, concealment, and resurrection in Jewish and Islamic spiritual texts.
Jonah was swallowed by the whale and forced to wander in the dark of the belly for three days before being spat back out.
There comes a time for each of us to be swallowed up by the metaphorical whale and descend into our dark places. In the belly of the whale, we are between heaven and earth and the world of the conscious and unconscious, where we meet our Creator.
While I was in the hospital for six weeks, I thought about my life and realized I wouldn’t be able to do what I did physically before the accident. But I was determined to grow from this experience and learn from it.
What I experienced is called post-traumatic growth (PTG), which is different from resilience.
This was my third major trauma. I’d grown after recovering from the first two. I had counseling to help me process each trauma.
Psychologists and researchers Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun developed the theory of post-traumatic growth (PTG) in the 1990s. At the time, it represented a major change from the way psychologists regarded trauma.
The science of PTG demonstrates that when we’re forced to reflect on our lives and make sense of the destruction caused by trauma, our struggles can become a catalyst for change.
"PTG is sometimes considered synonymous with resilience because becoming more resilient as a result of struggle with trauma can be an example of PTG, but PTG is different from resilience,” said Kanako Taku, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Oakland University, who has both researched PTG and experienced it as a survivor of the 1995 Kobe earthquake in Japan.
Who is predisposed to post-traumatic growth?
"It all depends on the trauma, the circumstances, the timing of the measurement … [and] on how you define growth using the PTG Index, looking at total score, means, factors or individual items," said Tedeski. However, he estimates that about one-half to two-thirds of people show PTG.”
Years after the accident, I began writing about my experience and discovered articles on post-traumatic growth. I was thrilled to find a term for what I’d experienced after reconciling each traumatic event.
People who endure psychological struggles following adversity can often see positive growth afterward.
"People develop new understandings of themselves, the world they live in, how to relate to other people, the kind of future they might have and a better understanding of how to live life," said Tedeschi.
Their book, Post-traumatic Growth in Clinical Practice, shows how some people will grow and change in new ways after they undergo trauma.
“One of the common elements that’s a precursor to the possibility of post-traumatic growth is that whatever happens, it has to shake the foundations of someone’s understanding of the world and their place in it,” Calhoun said. “Things do not compute right away after the event. It’s kind of like an earthquake. Earthquakes shake buildings, and may cause the whole thing to collapse.”
Traumatic events are often unexpected and can damage or destroy our core beliefs. In the aftermath of trauma, we must rebuild our system of core beliefs.
PTG shows positive psychological changes can occur after experiencing a traumatic event, including increased resilience, a more profound appreciation for life, and closer relationships.
When a traumatic event significantly challenges an individual's core beliefs, it is more likely to lead to post-traumatic growth (PTG).
The more deeply your core beliefs are shaken up, the greater the potential for growth after trauma.
“There appear to be two traits that make some people more likely to experience PTG,” Tedeschi said, they are an openness to experience and extraversion. That's because more open people are more likely to reconsider their belief systems, and extroverts are more likely to be more active in response to trauma and seek out connections with others. Women also report more growth than men, but the difference is relatively small.”
Post-traumatic growth is a positive psychological transformation that can happen after trauma.
PTG demonstrates that struggle can be a catalyst for profound growth and transformation. Instead of being taken down by trauma, people can emerge stronger and more authentic, embodying their best versions.
How PTG changed my outlook on life:
It wasn’t one trauma that changed me but all three - my youngest brother was killed in 2005, and his case is 20 years cold this May. I used Byron Katie’s form of inquiry to help me understand that I was in the prison of my mind for five years, keeping in touch with the Investigator of Violent Crimes by sending him information while the perpetrator was free.
My son was twenty-eight when he landed in the ER and was later diagnosed with a rare genetic condition. He survived two medical interventions, and today, he is the father of a two-year-old child. Again, I used inquiry to question my beliefs and had an awakening that it was my mother identity that told me I couldn’t live if he died. I realized I could live and thrive if I mothered myself, the world, and other young people.
When I was nearly killed in 2017 by a car wreck, I accepted that I would be in the hospital for a long time and had a knowing that I could thrive afterward, which has happened.
But what’s critical to know is that it took me years to grow and reconcile what had happened to me and what it meant.
I had a counselor for many months after each trauma. I grieved and reconciled my losses. I was in Byron Katie’s Institute, which helped me the most. I questioned my deepest fears and found out the fears were lies my mind told me. I found out what was true for me, leading to peace.
After the car accident, I worked with a counselor to do Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). EMDR therapy helps the brain process these memories and resume normal healing. I had PTSD each time my husband drove the car. After a few years of EMDR, I took charge and started driving instead of John.
I experienced an increased appreciation for life, more meaningful relationships, an increased sense of personal strength, and a deeper spiritual life.
I meditated and created a calm environment at home. Life wisdom helped me make new meaning at this time in my life. I live a deeply meaningful and purposeful life.
Recovery from each event took years, but it was so worth it.
Specific, evidence-based interventions are crucial for addressing crisis-related psychological symptoms.
These evidence-based interventions, guided by trained professionals, include:
Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
It's important to note that growth occurs after a person has had sufficient time to recover and adapt to the trauma.
Recovery precedes growth, highlighting the need for patience and appropriate timing in the therapeutic process.
Tedeschi and Calhoun advocate relating to a person's story in a way that sees it through their eyes and helps them value their own experience. This approach involves:
Listening without necessarily trying to solve problems.
Allowing patients to process trauma into growth.
Relating to the trauma survivor's story in a personal manner.
This method communicates respect for the patient and encourages them to see the value in their experience, which is a crucial step toward post-traumatic growth.
Pennebaker's "Written Emotional Disclosure Paradigm" encourages people to write about their thoughts and feelings. The practice of writing down thoughts and feelings can help individuals:
Process their emotions.
Restructure their thinking.
Improve their overall well-being.
Artist Tobi Zausner is a research psychologist, a clinician in private practice, and an
award-winning visual artist whose work highlights how creative outlets can be transformative for trauma survivors. She notes that challenging experiences can lead to discovering "new sources of inspiration and strength."
In my experience, the process of turning trauma into growth involved a combination of professional interventions, a lot of personal reflection, and creative expression in writing my memoir. I found significant meaning in my struggles.
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Loved this Sherold. As a co-recoverer of trauma who has experienced much PTG, I relate to your words. I'm in therapy again and will be experiencing EMDR soon and am actually excited about it. I am also a retired psychotherapist and did a lot of work with clients using DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). It uses a combination of CBT, Mindfulness, Acceptance, and working on trauma doesn't begin until the client has built recovery skills. I learned a lot from your post.